At the beginning of the month I spoke at the Hope Mommies Retreat in Hunt Texas. I already blogged about bits and pieces of that here: A Special Trip to Hunt Texas – Part 1
Hope Mommies is a ministry that was created to support, love and offer hope to women who have lost babies. When I heard the story of the beginnings of this ministry, it was very obvious that God had ordained it… and He is continuing to bless it and use these women in His service.
These are the women who were at the retreat. Isn’t it amazing that all of these mommies who were called to say goodbye to their babies, were blessed to be able to spend a weekend together? A sad bond but a strong one.
As I stood there speaking to them for the first time on Saturday morning, I was hit with the reality that I was speaking to 23 women who KNEW the pains of infant loss, just as I did, and who needed a seasoned veteran in loss to offer them hope – hope of better days… hope of complete restoration. My goal from the beginning (even as I prepared my speeches) was to share that hope, but when I was in the midst of these precious women, my desire became even stronger to prove to them that they would be fully restored. I knew I needed to display the joy God had brought to me – the joy that miraculously restored my broken heart. I knew I needed to convince them of the path to healing. (Some of the ladies were freshly grieving.)
My key points for the day were these:
1. Allow yourself to mourn.
2. Seek Jesus for your healing.
3. Consider yourself a “Handmaid of the Lord” – picturing yourself saying “Yes, Lord” if He were to ask your permission to take your child – for a great and mighty purpose.
4. Allow yourself to heal. “There is a time to mourn and a time to dance.” Ecc. 3:4
5. Run from self-pity as running for your life.
6. Don’t hold grudges or bitterness against God or those who hurt you. “A bitter spirit dries up the bones…” Prov. 17:22
7. “Be strong and courageous” in your journey to heal. God commands it in Joshua 1:9
8. Replace the desperate longing for your baby with a desperate longing for Jesus. “As the deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul pants after you, God.”
9. Let your baby change the world for GOOD – beginning with you. Share your victory! Psalm 73:28
I asked them if they would gather together one more time (following an afternoon of pictures) so I could get a picture with them. I called myself the “Queen Mother” – ha!!! It was funny how I sort of felt a motherly bond with these women who I had only met a day before. Perhaps it was because I was instructing and encouraging them as a mother would. (But, technically speaking, I wasn’t QUITE old enough to be (most of) their mom – so maybe it was more like “Aunt Lynnette”. ha!)
The mommies had a balloon release in honor of their babies – and I was so pleased when they asked me to join them. I had never done that and enjoyed the precious sentiment of love. I said, “This is actually quite emotional and is choking me up.” But when we got outside, and I released my three balloons, it was just happy for me. I’ve never really spent much time with women who have lost babies (can really only think of a few, certainly never 23 all at that same time!) – and had never participated in any sort of remembrance or celebration. It was a truly special moment.
I’m grateful to Tisha, who volunteered her love and time and took such beautiful pictures. I’m grateful for my companion, Abigail, who made traveling so much more fun. Having her watch her momma release balloons honoring her siblings – was just precious. Having her there to listen to my story, which is part of her heritage, was such a joy!
Oh Lynnette, thank you so much for sharing this! God has been working so very heavily on my heart regarding the miscarriage I had (in 2009) and the fact that I have yet to truly grieve and to really give that up to Him. This is just one more step toward complete faith that He knows what is best and that I can’t be angry that we weren’t able to see our baby on this side of Heaven. He did give us a wonderful treasure in our sweet little Ethan, though, and he has helped to heal those hurting areas of my heart.
You are a treasure, Lynnette, and I am every day so grateful to call you friend!
I love the points of your message and I’m sure it was a blessing to the women who were there! I wish I could’ve heard it too! My friend Angela went to the retreat
Amazing. I love your message! I’m sure you were a huge encouragement to those ladies!
Giving God permission to take my baby…that’s definitely a new way to look at it. I wish I had been there to hear your message! This April will be 3 years since Levi was stillborn, and most days I’m great, but some days still leave me feeling like I’ll never be whole again.
Hi Lynette! It has been a LONG time since i have commented but I just had to tell you that I anted to be there SO bad when I heard you were going to be there. I would love to have met you! Thank you for your wisdom for these ladies and for the comfort and HOPE you have given to so many. To GOD be the GLORY!
Love this post Et. You are His vessel of Hope.
I am not a woman and my wife and I have not lost a child bit I am deeply touched by this ministry. Maybe it is because I have just finished “Hannah” and find my emotions raw. You, and the ladies you have been given to minister to have “found” something so many miss. May God have His hand on this unique ministry He has given you and the ladies who were there.
Wonderful points. The Lord has used you in mighty and beautiful ways to be an example of hope and the beauty of His restoration, my friend. So grateful you had this opportunity. What a sweet blessing…for them and for you.
Wow. Just…wow. I have never experienced the loss of a child, but I love that all the points of your message can be applied to any situation of grief or loss, receiving what comes from the Lord with an open hand and cultivating a desperate longing for Him. What a wonderful opportunity for you to share the victory and healing the Lord has brought to you!
I don’t know what it is, but when I think about what that must have meant to them, it just puts tears in my eyes. I think it’s because even though I hadn’t lost a child, your first book gave me hope again, and so you will always hold such a special place in my heart. And as I hopped over here to your blog today, I suddenly remembered why I had that nagging feeling all morning that I was forgetting something on my way to church. I forgot to take your bookmarks! Boo! This was my first time back to church since Christmas, so it was my first chance to take them. I will try to remember for next week!
I am so thankful for the “yes” in you that allows God to minister through you to hurting women. I have never lost a child, and I cannot even imagine such pain. You are an example of a beautiful women who takes horrific circumstances and truly uses them to bring Him glory and to release freedom into the lives of others. I have no doubt you were used by God to help bring freedom to these women.
Lovely. We get balloons in memory of our lost baby. Last year our, then three year old, accidentally let “Gussie’s balloon” go. She was devastated. But it was so beautiful to all of us. That now it will be an annual tradition on the day we celebrated our son and brother who waits for us in Heaven.