I hadn’t seen Dr. Jensen in nearly 4 years (since Harrison). He’s delivered 7 of our 9 babies so I guess you might say, he’s walked through many joys and sorrows with us, and he’s been a great support and encouragement (not to mention a wonderful doctor). Kyle and I both feel blessed that God led us to him. I went to see him yesterday and in addition to some good conversation 
– I had some lab done. I received a call from his nurse this morning telling me that my HCG level was “less than 2″, which is a confirmed miscarriage and that everything is working itself out. It was no surprise. I would have been shocked at a different result.
I’ve birthed 9 babies. I’ve watched two babies and my 6 year old daughter die, but I’ve never had a miscarriage (that I’m aware of) … until now. Silas (in his sweet innocence and effort to encourage me) said, “Well, now you can say you’ve had a miscarriage!” Oh, that child like beauty in life. Always attempting to put a positive view on things. That’s how I will always try to be! There is always a brighter side!
Honestly, I couldn’t believe I was pregnant in the first place. I’m not sure why. It just didn’t feel like I was. Oh, I had a symptom or two here and there, but it just didn’t seem real to me for some reason. Don’t laugh, but I took 10 – TEN pregnancy tests! Two positive (First Response) then four negative (2-Dollar Tree and 2-Clear Blue Digital), then two positive (First Response), then spotting… then bleeding… then one positive (First Response), then spotting… then one negative (First Response).
I started to say, “It just wasn’t in God’s plan”, but I’d rather say, God has a beautiful plan for my life and everything fits into it somehow. (Roman 8:28). I know he doesn’t love to watch us hurt, but he loves to watch us grow in faith and trust in him. I’m at peace. This miscarriage made me realize that I really would like to have another baby, but it also helped me to see just how perfectly content I am with my life. God gave me joy through it all… even when I was thinking it wasn’t going to happen.
I’ve been very open with my family and close friends about what was happening, so while there is some disappointment over the miscarriage, everybody is okay and at peace.
Kyle said, “I had hoped for a different outcome, but there is peace”. I love that he loves children.
When I told September this morning about the results, she asked me how I was… encouraged me… and then said, “Bask in the beauty of a new day.”
And that is what I intend to do!
Jared said, “I’m so glad God gave you so much peace… and hey, you’ve still got a bushel of youngsters to keep things interesting!”
And that is true! I will bask. I will appreciate. I will enjoy this life that God has given me.
Your part, my friends, in this short event in my life has blessed me more than you know. The love you expressed through your comments and emails just proved to me how beautiful friendship can be. I’m so thankful for your expression of kindness and care. I’m glad we walked through this together.
Have a beautiful day. I plan to!
Praying for continued peace for you. How proud your Father must be in the way you are glorifying Him through yet another heartbreak.
Stephanie,
Thank you so much for praying. Your encouragement made a difference in my day.
Love,
Lynnette
“But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.” I Thessalonians 4:13
Beyond the pain of this life, there is a hope in Christ. You will see this precious child on the shores of Heaven. You are deep in my prayers today.
Amen! I’m rejoicing in the fact that I will live eternally with my children.
Thank you for caring. <3
Love,
Lynnette
Lynnette, there is so much you teach me every day and every time I read your words, I know that the Lord is real, that He is good, and that He always gives us hope no matter what the circumstance. I am so sorry that you miscarried, but so glad that the Lord gave you peace. Love you very much!!
Hope is a beautiful thing. I love having it, believing it, and sharing it!
I love you very much too Kristin.
Your friend,
Lynnette
I will pray for continued peace for you and your family. I admire your awesome attitude.
Thank you for your prayers. They are appreciated!
Love,
Lynnette
I am sad for you but also encouraged by the way you are already resting in God’s perfect plan. You are in my prayers!
Blessings,
–Näna
Thank you
I appreciate your prayers. I’m truly at peace and thankful for all God’s blessings to me.
Much love,
Lynnette
I am so sorry you miscarried. I will pray continued peace over you and your family. I admire you, and it is so amazing to see the way God works in your life and in your attitude. Saturday will be the 2 year anniversary of the day my 2nd son was born silently, and I long to have the peace about it that you seem to have. I love seeing the Lord’s work in your life.
Thank you for praying Amy. That is just so sweet of you.
I’m sorry for the loss of your 2nd son. I pray that you will soon come to the point of dancing again. I don’t take any credit for the healing of my heart. When my babies died, and especially after Anna died (because there were more memories and tangible things to deal with), I didn’t think I’d ever find joy again. I was just certain I’d be ruined for the remainder of my life, but I did heal. I still have them near my heart and sometimes still cry, but it’s just for the longing that is still there – a longing that I know will be filled one day.
Much love to you and a prayer going up right now for you.
Love,
Lynnette
(((HUGS)))
Continue praying God continues to give you peace.
Hugs back Trennia. Peace is present.
Love,
Lynnette
Oh Lynnette… I haven’t been around in blogland much recently – but when I do… I always visit with you! (not always good at commenting though)…
Just want to tell you that I am praying for you… I love your sweet spirit and especially how you worded this: ….. “This miscarriage made me realize that I really would like to have another baby, but it also helped me to see just how perfectly content I am with my life. God gave me joy through it all… even when I was thinking it wasn’t going to happen.”
So evident that the God of all peace has done just that: Given you HIS peace.
Love and Blessings Sweet Friend!
~deedee
Glorifying God is indeed my desire and loving God is my heart. I just can’t imagine how miserable life would be without his love, care, comfort and hope.
Thank you for your precious heart of love.
Your friend,
Lynnette
I miscarried my first child and a friend gave me this poem that helped so much.
http://getjoy.blogspot.com/2009/05/heavens-voice.html
God is always in control and knows what is best even when we do not understand.
Christina,
Yes, I agree. I’ve stopped trying to understand and have come to the conclusion that God always works good in my life, increases my faith, and offers me comfort in all situations. I’m content and at peace. Thank you for sharing the poem.
Love,
Lynnette
Isn’t it wonderful to have joy, peace and most of all HOPE in Jesus Christ! I just don’t know how I would handle this world without him. Blessings to you all!
Absolutely wonderful! And Amen! I wouldn’t be victorious through anything without Jesus. He IS the reason I hope.
Love,
Lynnette
Hi Lynette – Since I had commented before a couple times since you’ve announced your latest pregnancy I thought I just send a little update. Yesterday at our normally schedule doctors appt we were suppose to hear the heartbeat, but they couldn’t find one. After having an ultrasound they confirmed that the baby had died. I’m schedule to have a D & C on Monday. Prayers would be appreciated. I know that the Lord has a plan for my life…I was just SO looking forward to holding this baby and it growing up in MY arms. I’m thankful though that he or she is resting in the arms of Jesus.
Wow. What an amazing heart He’s given you. I’m so humbled by your response to this. Praying the Father continues to move in you and reveal His plans for your family!
Thank you for that encouragement Julie. I am resting and trusting.
Love,
Lynnette
You are an amazing women Lyn
your positive attitude in such a situation made my attitude and feelings open up today! I can’t really explain it but thank you and God bless (and he does)! With a friend like you, I can never go wrong. I love your words and inspiration everyday!!you too have a beautiful day.
Praise God! I made you feel good and then YOU made ME feel good.
That’s what friendship is all about… building one another up! Thank you Jessica.
Have a lovely weekend.
Love,
Lynnette
I’m so sorry, Lynnette. Your faith and hope through the pain of loss is a beautiful testimony to the Lord’s work in your life. The bright side is that now you have a baby whom you’ll meet for the first time in Heaven! What a thing to look forward to!
Love,
Angela
I do indeed look forward to the day I will live with all my children again. What a day of rejoicing that will be!!! And to Jesus Christ I give all thanks for that wonderful gift of an eternity – one I don’t deserve.
Thank you for your tender heart and your precious words.
Love,
Lynnette
Awww…I’m so sorry to hear about your miscarriage, Lynette. But God is good, and he has everything planned for the best. May God give you continual comfort and peace as he is pouring on you now. You and your family is in my prayers. Love ya!
God IS indeed good and He is comforting and giving perfect peace.
Thank you for praying. That is a precious gift to me.
Love,
Lynnette
My heart breaks for you, Lynnette, but I am so thankful for His peace. {hugs}, my friend.
Thank you Amy. We were all disappointed, of course, but it hasn’t been too traumatic. Just happened so fast. I will NEVER do an early pregnancy test again. ha! That was so not like me. Makes me wonder how many other times that might have happened when I wasn’t aware? Well, it did happen, so I guess I must just look at it as an opportunity to see Jesus at work again.
Being aware of it did open up some opportunities to share things with my children that I was thankful for.
Love,
Lynnette
Lynette, my heart hurts as I read your words today. I am so thankful for the hope we have because of the Lord. Without him, there is no way we could make it through. My nephew and his girlfriend just lost their first baby to an early miscarriage about 2 weeks ago and that pain is still so fresh. Thinking of you today and praying that you’ll continue to feel His peace.
Love,
Veronica (your blog sis)
You’re absolutely right. Without Jesus, there is no hope. Period. I’m SO thankful for that hope that has carried me through some very dark days.
I appreciate your prayers Veronica.
Love,
Lynnette (your blog sis)
Dearest Lynette, my heart hurts for you. I am thinking of you today and praying for you.
With love, Kate
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.
Precious.
Love,
Lynnette
God bless you, Lynnette! I’m happy you are finding the peace so many do not. God’s purpose will be revealed in time for your desire of another baby. Maybe a biological child or perhap a foster child or even an adoption. The options for expanding your family are not limited.
Your hormones will be all crazy. You’re gonna feel moody blue some days and the sting of lossing your baby even though you didn’t feel prego will cause your heart to ache. In time, you will feel like yourself completely. I know your heart and mind are open to the Lord’s direction, just continue on that path and you’ll never go wrong.
Blessings always,
Cathy Kennedy, Children’s Author
The Tale of Ole Green Eyes
Read today’s posts …
Mommy is Trying to Exercise Right Now
1000 Reasons I am Thankful
@Amazon My Book is $5.65!
So far hormones aren’t too bad – in fact, it was far better than having a normal period.
Usually I get headachey for a couple of days and it didn’t happen at all. But, if that changes, I’ll remember your comment and try to chill out. ha!
I’m open to whatever God has for my life. This journey through having children has been wonderful and painful and yet I’ve seen and felt him work abundantly in my life… so I’m a very grateful woman.
Thanks for sharing some encouragement with me Cathy.
Love,
Lynnette
Lynette, I am so sorry! I love how you used one of my favorite verses, Romans 8:28 because surely good will come from this..even in your sharing it, I am sure others will be encouraged. ((hugs))
Thanks Melissa. I love that verse too.
Your friend,
Lynnette
My heart aches for you, but at the same time I am proud of the way you are handling everything. As a firm believer in faith, I know God has a plan for everything we go through. I have 2 grandchildren in heaven, lost through miscarriages and three nieces or nephews lost the same way, plus a 4 month old niece lost to SIDS. It gives me comfort to know that though we had them a brief moment of time, they are back with the angels and being cradled in God’s arms.
Amen! and Thank you!
With God, nothing shall be impossible. We can be victorious when we seek him.
Love,
Lynnette
And I’m so sorry for your losses too. :’(
My heart aches for you. I have been in that position twice. I didnt handle it quite as well as you did, but I knew it was God’s plan for me. I will be praying for continued peace for you and your family.
Thank you Ivy. I think the pregnancy just went so fast, I hardly knew what happened. I’m sure it would have been more traumatic for me had I carried longer.
Thank you for praying for us.
Much love,
Lynnette
I’m so sorry Lynette. Praise God for the peace he is giving you & your family! I’ll pray for continued peace & comfort for you & your family.
(((hugs))))
Your prayers are very precious to me.
Thank you Jenn!
Love and hugs,
Lynnette
Praying for you and your family. So glad you have a peace about it all. I have been there 3 times. Love you so much.
Thank you Caroline. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through miscarriages. :’(
Your prayers are appreciated.
Love,
Lynnette
Thank you for sharing so openly about this. After I had a miscarriage a couple of years ago I found that so many women have had at least one, but very few talk about it.
Thankfully we will see the little blessings that we miscarried again one day, and yours has already met your three children that are with Jesus already! Wow!
We will pray for you and your family. God bless you!
Yes, I had a couple of people feel sorry for me that I had to now go and tell everybody I was no longer pregnant. I actually thought through that possibility before I announced the pregnancy on my blog (because it was so early), and I decided that if it didn’t end up being a successful pregnancy, it would just be another opportunity for me to share a piece of my life that might end up encouraging some women So, here I am – not quite where I expected, but glad to be able to share openly.
Thankful for your comment, your prayers and your friendship.
Love,
Lynnette
Lynnette,
Praising God for His Peace in your heart and His plan in your life!
Still saddened for your family, and will continue to pray for you all, but so very thankful for the Comforter!
Thank you for sharing your life.
Blessings!
~Monica
Thank you Monica. I really appreciate your tender heart.
Much love,
Lynnette
Thank you for sharing your thoughts Lynnette. I’m sorry for your pain, but knowing that you are being comforted and sustained through the Prince of Peace is very reassuring. ((hugs))
Absolutely. God is faithful and I’m perfectly at peace. It was so fast, I barely knew what happened, but there is a feeling of disappointment over the loss – as much for my family as for myself.
Thank you for your prayers.
Resting in those comforting arms.
Lynnette
Praying for you.
–Love MCat
{glitteringcompositions.blogspot.com}
Thank you Mary.
Your prayers are precious.
Love,
Lynnette
So glad you are leaning on our Savior and trusting in Him through this. I’ll be thinking and praying for you all!
I am resting. So thankful for a Savior to lean on.
I appreciate your prayers Heather.
Love,
Lynnette
oh Lynnette I’m so sorry for this loss and disappointment. Wish I was there to give you a hug in person, maybe cry with you over a cup of coffee and cheesecake
Your attitude is, as always, and inspiration. Got most certainly does have a beautiful plan for your life.
Coffee and Cheesecake sound delicious right now. Coupled with Carla would be even better!
Thank you for your sweet encouragement. It truly lifted me.
You’re a precious soul Carla.
Love,
Lynnette
oops I didn’t realize how many typos I had on my comment.
p.s your photo wall is gorgeous!
I’m so sorry.
Praying the Lord would continue to give you HIs peace.
Thank you for praying Kristin. God IS continuing to overwhelm me with peace and joy.
Love,
Lynnette
Having been down this road myself, I found it so helpful to purchase an item that will always stand as a reminder of the treasure that you have in heaven just waiting for you on the other side. A little “HOPE” gift! Thinking and praying for you and your entire family! ♥
That’s a great idea. I’ll have to consider that and see what I can come up with.
Love,
Lynnette
Your spirit is evidence of the goodness of God.
Amen.
Praise God!
Hugs Melanie.
Love,
Lynnette
PS Kyle read these comments and said he loved your “Adorkable Life” handle. Great minds think alike. I’ve loved it since the day I saw it!
I’m so sorry and praying the Lord continues to comfort you and fills you with His peace. ((((hugs))))
Your prayers are precious to me.
Thank you Tanya.
Love,
Lynnette
You are so beautiful…your faith and every part of this sacred dance of grief and joy. I loved your take on Romans 8:28.
Much love and continued prayers for you….
Thank you for praying and loving.
You’re a special lady Kelly.
Love,
Lynnette
Sweet Lynnette, while I am so, so sorry about the miscarriage, I am so encouraged by your peace and these beautiful words: “God has a beautiful plan for my life, and everything fits into it somehow.” God never makes mistakes, God never says “oops!”
Continuing to pray for you as you bask in a new day!
God never says oops. Nope.
I’m trusting.
I’m basking.
I’m one very grateful woman!
Thank you for praying Coby.
Much love,
Lynnette
So sorry to hear but glad you have peace. I felt the same way about my miscarriage. Won’t it be so exciting to get to Heaven and meet all our babes!?!
It will wonderful meeting our children we never had a chance to know here on earth. What a gift we’ve been given in eternity!
Love,
Lynnette
your faith is so beautiful and inspiring. i’m sorry you didn’t get a chance to meeting baby number 10. ((hugs))
Thank you for your compassion and love Crystal.
Love,
Lynnette
I am so sorry Lynnette. I am thankful that you and your family have so much peace. You are a beautiful spirit and I learn lessons in grace from you every time I visit. Love & hugs!
Thank you Barbie.
Your encouraging words blessed me this evening.
Love and hugs back to you.
Lynnette
Your outlook is beautiful…l and yes…you are richly blessed beyond belief…! As always, it is a priveledge to call you friend and to hear a bit of your heart thru your blog. Thanks for sharing
You are a dear friend Sue. I’m so thankful for your precious words.
Hope you’re doing well. You have a wedding coming up! I can’t believe that!
Tell everybody I said hi!
Love,
Lynnette
Comfort from above and sweet blessings to you.
Thank you Deanna.
We are doing well and at peace. (and still hoping for another before I’m too old! ha!)
Love,
Lynnette
perhaps twins…
Love and peace… a huge hug… and many prayers. ♥
Love, peace and huge hug right back at ya!
Thankful for your prayers friend.
Love,
Lynnette
I’m sorry that this loss had to come to you, too, on top of the others you have had.
I’m thankful you have such a loving and supportive family to carry you thru this time.
Love you.
Thank you Kathryn. Indeed I do.
Love,
Lynnette
Lynnette,
I am truly sorry for your loss. I have experienced 2 miscarriages, out of my six babies I lost 2 before I ever got to know them and it makes my heart hurt to know that you have had to go through this. One was early at about 7 weeks and one at almost 4 months, both equally hard because we had wanted both babies very much. My mama heart knows that your heart, though very full and blessed also aches tonight and I will be praying that God’s love, peace, and grace, will fill that sadness and that all your friends and sweet family, and beautiful kiddos will surround you in love and make this time easier for you. I will be praying that if it is God’s will that you get to have at least one more that that would happen too, blessings sweet friend. Today is a new day, full of such joy and blessings, God is good even during the rough days. Love to you and your sweet family. Praying for a day full of joy tomorrow.
Jill,
Thank you for taking time to share your story and encourage me. You are a beautiful lady and I appreciate you.
Your prayers are precious to me.
Love,
Lynnette
Hi Lynnette,
I read last week of your thinking you might be having a miscarriage…I left a comment but do not see it?
((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))) and prayers!
I am so sorry to hear that you indeed had a miscarriage
I just had my first miscarriage in January….I was 8k 4d along. I found out I was pregnant with my 7th baby on Christmas day! My holidays were so joy filled!
Like you things felt different about this pregnancy…..I took a test once a week….I could not believe it was real, I WAS pregnant!!!!!.
We had been trying for 17 months! Our baby is 3yrs old!
I miscarried at home and then had a burial at our local Catholic cemetry. It felt good to have that. Our baby was treated with dignity and respect! I felt this baby was a boy and we named him Christian Alexander. We still miss him very much!
Like you I am in a peaceful place but do have my teary moments. In the first few weeks I was in denial and did not cry much. Then the tears came for a few weeks……then the Gods peace washed over me.
Again I am so sorry for the loss of your precious baby!
Much love and prayers,
Georgiann
So, sorry for your loss. But know God has special things in store for you in months/years to come. You have blessed so many of us in the past and continue to do so in every post I read.
Love you bunchs.
Verna
Dear Lynnette,
You have no idea what an encouragement you are to me. Working on being content and trusting in the “unknown” that God has planned has been something I’ve been working on. I’ll be praying for you and your family (and you other fellow bloggers out there!), that you feel God’s presence, His love, and the peace of knowing that His plan is GREAT!
With bright love,
Joni
It’s amazing how emotional a miscarriage is, isn’t it? What a blessing to know that the Lord has His own plans for us, whatever they may be.
I have been praying for you!
Just now seeing this… I’m so sorry for this loss but thankful for our heavenly Father’s peace to once again, have joy in the midst of pain. Love the message of your blog and your sweet faith. Love you my blog friend!
*Christina @ getjoy.blogspot.com (a wonderful friend of mine – my youth pastor’s wife from a long time ago…) is planning to take Wednesday’s Walk for now! I think she is starting this week!
I’m so sorry to read about the loss you have suffered. I don’t know what I would do if I lost my children or my pregnancies. You are a witness of hope and comfort to all those who have lost someone precious in their lives. How blessed you are that God has given you this calling. I pray for your family continuously. (Your daughter’s and son’s concert was beautiful. I used to play the violin and piano in my growing up years, and they brought back many happy memories!) Your sister in Christ, Laura